Oh Yeah! I Have A Blog!

Greetings and hello all!  It’s been awhile.  I believe another Avenger’s movie has happened since last I went on and on about how dreamy Captain America is.  It feels good to be back y’know?  It’s got that old familiar smell to it (inhales, chokes, coughs) oh man! I should’ve cleaned up before I left!  I don’t even know what that was supposed to be… maybe a draft on an article about vampires?  It’s unrecognizable now what with the tentacles and strange pulsating light that beckons me to touch it… just a little… it won’t hurt me… it can’t hurt me……..

What? oh well, wasn’t important.  The important thing is I might be back!  I say might because lately these days I tend on the busy side of things.  I work a lot, with my new job at a Commercial Real Estate research group called Xceligent.  It’s boring and you’ll never hear me talk about it, I have a weird taste on my tongue just talking about it.  Fun fact: I kind of read aloud as I write.  Something I bet you didn’t know about me from before.  In addition to the new jorb, I managed to get myself into school!  That’s exciting right?  I’m majoring in Computer Information Systems.  In fact that’s partially why I’m back, my first class is a literature class.  That means I’ll be writing a lot more and analyzing and thinking and researching and discussing topics and oh man it sounds exhausting but at the same time thrilling.  I might have kind of linked to this blog as a way of introduction and oh man was that a mistake!  My classmates will think I’m nuts…  But just going to the link and seeing my old blog made me yearn for the days when I sat behind my computer and just typed whatever popped into my head!  I miss researching and sharing information with you guys.  I missed talking about how the universe works and awkward massage parlors.  I missed writing!  Oh god I miss writing.  So hopefully I’ll stick with it this time, I’ll be writing a lot for class so it’ll be good to come here and unwind a little after my coursework is done for the day.  It’s all online so I can pace myself as much as I want to, although i’d still prefer an in-seat class if I didn’t have a stupid job and mortgage to pay.

Oh yeah!  I bought a house too!   Today is a day for revelations people.  I plan on doing a write up on my escapades between the last time I wrote and now, the things that held me back and about the struggles of being a 27 year old Army dropout divorcee…. yeah that happened finally.  More details later, it’ll be a sad one and I’d rather not focus on it for now.  For now the future is where I’m facing.  A future that’s bright and hopeful, and full of opportunity.  Sure I’ll be… oh my god, I’ll be 31 when I finish this degree… oh no…. what am I gonna do…

just kidding, I know what I’m gonna do!  I’m gonna be Epic!  And you all should be too!  Positivity and excitement all around!

Wednesday Review: Captain America, The Winter Soldier

So I figured the easiest way to ease me back into the whole blogging thing would be to start off with something simple like a movie review. I recently watched the newest Marvel Studios creation and let me tell you I was impressed. Some would say I might have poor taste in movies because I actually enjoyed the first one. However I enjoyed the first Captain America movie not because it was a good movie, but because it was a good CAPTAIN AMERICA movie. It was overly cheesy, reminiscent of old GI Joe cartoons, which make sense when you’re talking about Cap. He’s the All American Hero, the Boyscout in Blue, he’s a walking talking PSA that could kill you with his pinky and Make no mistake, he’s a soldier, he kills people as a profession. And unlike certain other overhyped animal themed killer heroes, you can feel like it tears him up inside but he shoulders the burden of the lives he’s taken and carries forward with his mission of kicking ass. Sorry that’s my Cap rant, he doesn’t get enough respect I think. At least again in comparison to certain cigar smoking mutants who’s only power seems to be making terrible stand alone movies.

He’s also kind of dreamy….

Anyway the Winter Soldier picks up with Captain Steve Rogers working as a covert agent for SHIELD. Which is pretty awesome, Cap is a man who gets really into his work and the initial opening sequence has some epic levels of badass stunts. The work in an obscure marvel bad guy for him to fight, for the comic book nerds lIke myself to kind of grin and nod in approval. It fits, I’m just glad we don’t see him later in the movie, seems like a loose end that’s not tied up. But the main theme of the movie is Cap struggling with trying to apply his World War II morals to a modern war scenario. We don’t dig trenches anymore, and the enemy isn’t always apparent. However what is refreshing is that the movie doesn’t punish Cap for his ideals, he sticks to his guns and succeeds, and comes out on top smiling despite all the espionage, back stabbing, and betrayals. He puts faith in people, who can’t help but put faith in him. As a former soldier myself it’s the kind of thing you find in really good leadership that is so rare in today’s Army. It’s a mutual respect and trust, not an enforcement of rank. Cap believes in you, even if he by all rights shouldn’t, and will always give you a second chance to redeem yourself. As he shows in his confrontations with the titular Winter Soldier, who is the most ruthless absolutely terrifying villain I’ve seen on the big screen in a long time.

This is what you last see before he crams that shield into your eye socket

Maybe it’s the fact that the music that accompanies his appearance rivals anything found in a slasher flick, or maybe it’s the terrifying speed with which he moves and the depiction of his utter ruthlessness, the way he his always on the offensive. He’s one of those rare movie bad guys who hits something every-time he shoots too! It’s crazy that that is something to be excited about, but seriously in most action flicks, the bad guys can’t shoot for shit, despite all being members of elite military task forces. Winter Soldier doesn’t play around. Of course his big reveal is kind of telegraphed, and anybody who knows anything about Cap already knows his origin story, so at least it wasn’t drawn out too long in the movie. I did kind of roll my eyes when the mask fell away but again that’s only because I’m a huge dork who owns a Marvel Encyclopedia. I imagine there are people out there who might be blown away, so I’m going to refrain from spoilers. However the finale was pretty epic and the inclusion if the Falcon was friggin awesome! He gets just as much screen time as Cap, and you never really feel like he gets relegated to side kick mode. Scarlett Johansen’s Black Widow is the same as usual. Not to say she isn’t interesting, but I dunno, I’ve never been a huge Black Widow fan. I also love seeing Colonel Fury get his own piece of the action too, there’s a car chase scene that’s pretty awesome with Sam Jackson lighting up the screen with as much colorful vocabulary the movies PG-13 rating will allow. He also plays a great foil for Cap, as a super secretive trust no one modern day soldier, who repeatedly tells Cap that trust is a good way to get yourself killed.

“Falcon, you so smooth.” “Shut yo mouth baby, I know it!”

Overall I’d give the movie a B+ it was highly enjoyable and I’d watch it again in a heartbeat. It loses some points only because no matter how much I enjoyed it, it felt just off in a way I can’t describe and I’m trying to give an accurate assessment of how I feel the average movie goer would enjoy it. It’s not dark, or gritty, and there’s no love story(arguably) although there is a strong bromance lol Its refreshing to see a movie that tries to be less about standard movie tropes and more about telling a story. A story about a man literally frozen in time, a soldier who doesn’t know if he believes in the country he’s fighting for, but ultimately a man who sticks to his beliefs and inspires others. I love Captain America and I like this movie. More so than I enjoyed a movie about an immortal angsty plot device who has no beliefs and enjoys Canadian wilderness. It’s Wolverine! I’m talking about the friggin Wolverine! Can’t stand him… But that’s A subject for another soapbox. Until then Stay Epic readers!

Wouldn’t you much rather see this movie, than another Wolverine sequel?

Don’t call it a Comeback

Ladies and gentleman of the internet, I’ve been away for far too long! I miss writing, I miss having a forum for my thoughts, I miss my six followers, you guys are awesome! If you’re still here that is -_-

I’ll be making my return sometime in the next few days, I’ve got an excellent article on Vampires I’d like to share, discuss my theory on nerd particles and their effects on society, as well as talk about some of the ludicrous levels of crazy stuff that’s happened to me in my absence. So yeah get excited internet! All three of you! And as always Stay Epic!

Lists!

So as it turns out, sharing a laptop with my nine year old sister leaves me without a laptop more often than not so I haven’t been able to get on as much as I want to. There’s also the fact that I’m still adjusting to a 14 time zone difference, an entirely different climate, and other such issues that keep my time pretty sparce. I haven’t even been able to start on my novel for NaNoWriMo, and I really miss making regular posts. So this morning I said, “excuses be damned!”and decided I will blog this morning! Unfortunately I couldn’t think of anything to write about….so I’m gonna do a few top five lists.

Top 5 Movies(this year)
My taste in movies changes so much this list never stays static so this is just the ones from this year.
5. This Is The End: I would like to see more movies like this where actors play themselves in a mocking way, it’s nice to see them laugh at themselves. Much like Dante’s Inferno this movie was more a satire on Hollywood, albeit with a lot more pot smoking and and crude humor. Better than I expected, with an ending that while corny was so friggin hilarious I loved every minute of it.

4.Man of Steel: I don’t like Superman, he just can’t be relatable to me. He whines too much about having nearly limitless power, he’s nearly indestructible, and his krypton item weakness seems more in his head than an actual weakness, able to pick and choose when it affects him or not. That being said, this movie was great, I watched it on the plane ride home. They did a great job, balancing angsty superman with relatable superman and the scenes against Zod and the other kryptonians are unlike anything in cinema and need to be scene if purely from an action stand point.

3.Star Trek – Into Darkness: I don’t know why I love this movie with its obvious plot holes and faults but I do. I guess I don’t run my movies through a fine toothed comb, I just sit down and shut off. I also am not a fan of the original Star Trek series! I’m a Picard fan myself, and I’ve never seen the original Wrath of Khan so I don’t get all the nerd rage. I admit to being a Benedict Cumberbatch fan and thoroughly look forward to Desolation of Smaug despite not liking the first Hobbit as much as I wanted to. This movie had some excellent action sequences and I love the cast, I actually give a damn about Kirk and Spock who up until the reboot were, to me, just some faceless sci-fi legends I knew nothing about except that one slept with everything that moved while the other made weird hand gestures.

2.The Avengers: I’m not just a comic book fan, I’m an Incredible Hulk fan. So much so that when Ruffalo was announced to be taking the place of Norton I wanted to boycott the movie. Hulk is the only reason I like comic books and the Avengers, the only hero who has a right to be angsty, he has no control over his powers. He’s less a man, more a force of nature. Ruffalo did an amazing job and Hulk outshone the rest of the avengers, even Robert Downy Junior’s Iron Man who is a close second favorite as far as the movies are concerned. Although I would’ve liked to see Lokis plan succeed and he turn the Hulk on his teammates, like he did in the original Avengers comic and wipe the floor with them, I understand Hollywood doesn’t cater to me nerdiness and I’ll accept Hulks defeat of Thor in the helicarrier as my little bit of fan service.

1. Pacific Rim: okay look, I know this movie was cheesy and predictable as all get out. A lot of the science didn’t make sense, and I know it’s not cost effective to build giant robots but c’mon people….Giant friggin robots, fighting giant friggin monsters! Every scene was just full of so much awesome. Now it wasn’t perfect by any means, I really wish the other bots had gotten more screen time, my personal favorite was the retro Russian monstrosity, the Mach-1, with its piston hammer fists that should’ve been allowed to pulp some Kaiju before its pretty lackluster demise. This movie gives me hope for the 2014 Godzilla remake, which I’m hoping will be over the top and just full of so much destruction that Michael Bay will piss himself in fear. I think I need to see a King Ghidora vs Godzilla fight on the big screen before I can die a happy nerd.

Top 5 Book Series
I haven’t read as much as I’d like to claim, I mean I started reading at age 4 and devoured text like a fat man does cupcakes, but mostly it was educational, I loved learning little facts and bits of trivia wit an emphasis on animals. I strayed into mythology and ghost stories eventually and wound up in fictitious a little late in the game but these are my all time favorite book series.

5. Dragonlance Chronicles by Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman
My introduction to fantasy literature, and subsequently, my gateway into DnD and tabletop gaming in general. It has your standard fantasy setup, a group of young heroes unite against an evil villain and slay monsters. Beneath the surface of its standard fantasy plot, the cast of characters are really enjoyable and keep you wanting to read. My favorite was the unapologetically evil Mage Raistlin Majere. He is without a doubt a bad dude, but he has his reasons. He fights for the good guys because he needs them to accomplish his means, they are pawns in his game for power with the ultimate goal to acquire limitless power. He has a twin brother Caramon Majere, who is every bit as physically strong as his brother is magically powerful and has an unyielding devotion to his twin. Great book series and a good read for fantasy fans.

4.Quadrail Series by Timothy Zahn
Mystery books aren’t usually my thing but Timothy Zahns blend of sci-fi and mystery is an excellent read from beginning to end. The series has only five books in it, only the last two are direct sequels, the others can be read out of context and still be enjoyed. The former Western Alliance intelligence professional Frank Compton is capable if almost super human levels of deduction, and his little group of equally intelligent and shady allies rounds out every novel with its fair collection of stunning reveals and twists and turns. This book series was suggested to me by my good friend Joy at Joy in Jeans, she herself has an excellent taste in books and her recommendations are usually spot on.

3. Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams(and the last one written by Eoin Colfer)
A good friend put it to me this way, “Hitchhikers Guide is a wonderful book, but a terrible novel.” I wholeheartedly agree with that statement. Adams frequently goes off on tangents, the book reads more like a series of Monty Python sketches rather than a single coherent story but I’ll be damned if it isn’t the single most hilarious book I’ve ever read. I laughed out loud, I bellowed, I chuckled and every chapter of Arther Dents bungling through the vast uncaring regions of outer space left me wit a smile on my face. The latest book titled “…And Another Thing” was written after Adams death and is a much better narrative but lacks a little of Adams charm but is still a great last adventure for the crew of The Heart of Gold.

2. John Dies at the End/This Book is Full of Spiders by David Wong
I listed these two together because they are direct sequels, with David Wongs third upcoming novel being placed in the same universe but without David and John. They are in my mind the perfect mixture of Cthulhu levels of horror and tongue in cheek humor. Creepy enough to give chills but full of dick jokes and intelligent humor that shakes you out of the horror and makes you smile at the apocalypse. The ending of the first book is downright chilling and brilliant and the second book turns the zombie genre on its head and rips it a new one. Definitely a must read, I don’t think I can recommend these books enough and unlike the rest of the books in this list, there are only two of them right now so you can easily catch up.

1. The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher
Now some of you may notice the lack of a Game of Thrones entry, I was just as surprised to find that no matter how much I love those books they didn’t make it into my top five when I instinctively thought about it. I wanted to fit it in somewhere but I think that wouldn’t be right, the point being these were the books I thought of when I thought of my favorite books just off the top of my head. The Dresden Files being at the very top, mainly because of the protagonist Harry Dresden, a super sarcastic, über-nerd wizard detective set in a modern day Chicago. In between dodging ancient evil beasties, vampires, fairies, and ghosts he also makes deals with the police, mob bosses, and plays dungeons and dragons with a group of friendly werewolves on the weekends. He drives a beat up old Volkswagen beetle dubbed the “Blue Beetle” and flings spells like a rockstar, calling out his attacks like an anime character and reveling in it. He’s dark when he needs to be, and at times he’s downright scary and he always does what’s right even of it means he’ll die. He gets the crap kicked out of him in every book, the opponents he faces are way out of his league, ancient gods and fairy queens who could crush him with a thought. And yet he wins, not by some sort of deus ex machina but because he knows his opponents underestimate him and he outsmarts them. the series gets more epic as it goes along, with I think almost 13 books in the series so far and Harry Dresden is continuously beaten and torn down only to get back up shake the dust off and press on. I don’t think there is another series I have every enjoyed reading more, I really relate to Harry, more so than another Wizard Harry I grew up reading about.
“My name is Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden, conjure by at it at your own risk.”

Two short lists and I’ll be finished:
Top Three things I miss about Korea
3.Food – oh my gods, the food!
2.Public Transit – I miss not having a car and being able to get anywhere I want to go for a dollar
1.Friends – I miss all the people I worked and hung out with, you guys know who you are 🙂

Top Three things I miss about the Army
3.
2.
1. Money

Horror Gaming: I’m a HUGE Pansy

Okay so Halloween tomorrow and I feel the need to talk about something spooky.  I’m a big fan of the Horror genre, I like being scared, mostly because real life is terrifying but at I can watch a scary movie or play a scary game and at least take comfort in knowing that ghosts and demons aren’t real…they aren’t right?   However I’m somewhat of a huge pansy, mostly when it comes to playing scary games.  Movies just aren’t immersive enough for me to get my thrill on.  Very few movies have actually scared me, I can’t think of one movie lately that has scared me at all but I have to give props to the show American Horror Story for seriously unnerving me in the first season(I couldn’t get past the aliens in the 2nd season and haven’t even started the 3rd).  Video games on the other hand, terrify me on a level that is only slightly more embarrassing than the way I react to the presence of spiders.  I take my shirt off and scream, no matter where the spider is on my person because the thought of a spider trapped against my skin inside my shirt is nightmarish…and now I have to take my shirt off.

 

This thing takes time off from guarding the gates of hell to sit perched on your face while you sleep.

Anyway, as far as horror games go I find there are at least…lets say two categories here, there are the more action based shooter games and the more cerebral adventure/puzzle horror game.  I want to say the market is flooded with the action based ones, Resident Evil 6 and Dead Space 3 being the most recent ones to come to mind.  A good example of a great scary action based game I believe is the first Dead Space, with its jump scares and monsters you have to mutilate to make sure they stay down for good.  Plus, monster/ghost babies are a quick way to terrifying the literal shit out of me.  Doom 3 had some terrifying moments, they had some creepy baby/bug demon hybrids that just creeped me the hell out and first person view mode is a shortcut to my terror nodes, I hate not being to see all the stuff around me…y’know like in real life 😛 lol.  However I find as a whole, the action based shoot’em up style horror game isn’t quite as scary, especially with the newest and latest entries in long-running franchises which are constantly trying to revamp old gameplay and stay fresh.  Its like what starts out as simple horror grows into action-filled gun and explosion festivals full of intestines and gore and a great unique game can become Generic Action Shooter 12: Shoot Demons instead of Aliens! (or Alien Demons!)  Best examples of this are Dead Space 3, Resident Evil 5, and Silent Hill: Homecoming, especially Silent Hill which is known for its psychological thriller plotlines and horror show monsters but its just not quite as scary when you can judo kick monsters to death, dodge attacks, and basically cleave your way through the horrors with a wide variety of monster smashing gear.  Not saying I didn’t have fun with the game but it wasn’t the type of scary I’d come to expect from Silent Hill, meaning I played through it for longer than 15 mins without shutting off the console and turning all the lights on in the house, I think I almost beat it actually!

Quick Time Events are not scary…

My favorite scary games are the more cerebral ones, the ones I can’t play without hurling my controller away from me and shrieking as my pants are ripped from my body by the sheer force of my terror urine.  The worst/best for me has been the Fatal Frame series, I don’t know what it is about ghosts but they scare the crap out of me.  Trying to fight them with a camera is crazy scary, mostly because you have to switch from third person to first person in order to attack them and the game has those weird third person fixed camera angles that can be game breakers when done wrong but really effective when done just right.  I recently played a game called Year Walk on my iPad which I don’t recommend unless you have an otter box case for your iPad because if you’re anything like me, you’ll hurl it away from you like it just turned into snake-spider and it was trying to bite you.  Its got a winning combination of deeply unsettling atmosphere, disturbing imagery, and well-placed jump scares that make it probably the most terrifying thing I’ve played this year.  I can say with certainty that I probably will not get farther in the game because I am way to scared to even touch the icon, just looking at it makes me whimper.  You don’t fight anything, you don’t have an arsenal, you’re just one guy trying to survive the Year Walk, a terrifying journey one makes to glimpse one’s own future.  Its a puzzle/adventure game in first person(again with the first person!) that has creepy demonic fairy tale creatures and lots of subtle terror that pricks at your skin before threatening to rip it off from time to time.  These types of games are great, although I don’t know  why I play them, I’m a huge huge pansy and I don’t think I’ve beaten a single one of them, lol.  I got close to beating the famous Silent Hill 2 but I had to give it back to the guy I borrowed it from just before I beat it.  I think the story is what wraps me up, just like any type of game, if it has a good story no amount of ash babies and crawling ghosts can keep me from completing it.  Tonight and tomorrow I plan on taking another go at Fatal Frame One, hoping I can make it farther than Act I this time.  I still need a young priest and an old priest to come by and bless my iPad before I can take another shot at Year Walk, lol.

A delightful scene from Year Walk where you kidnap ghost babies and deliver them to a horse headed demon lake monster…one of the lighter points in the game.

Have a fantastic Halloween my friends, and stay Epic!

Home Sweet Home

Finally settled into my new home back in the good ol’ US of A.  Staying at my Dad’s place while I ease into my transition from military to civilian and take care of a few things.  It wasn’t until today that I realized how much stress I’d been under and how its still really really hard to just relax and let go.  I find myself feeling fidgety when I don’t have anything to do, feeling like crap because I feel like I should be up doing something.  Its like I’m waiting for someone to jump out and start barking orders, or I’m anticipating getting yelled at.  Its like I’m in shock or something.  Went to a Halloween Party two nights ago, having just flown in I didn’t have a costume but my brother convinced me to go so I went and had a great time.  Drank too much though, two beers, two jack and cokes, and five shots of tequila later I was sitting on the couch feeling depressed and mumbling to myself as I’m wont to do when I’ve had too much.  Splitting headache the next day didn’t make things any better and being jet lagged meant I had an odd sleep schedule to overcome still.  However I managed to overcome it and today was much better.  I woke up early, helped out around the house and even got in some Diablo III time with my brother on the PS3.  Today was epic!

punching demons in the face until they explode usually helps me calm down.

The flight over was pretty nice, I planned on sleeping the whole way but I’ll be damned if Delta doesn’t make you feel like sleeping would be a huge waste of time.  The in-flight movie is a thing of the past when they put a touch screen digital media center right in front of you, loaded with all the latest movies, music, and TV shows.  I missed out on Man of Steel in the theaters but I got to watch it right there on the plane during my 14 hour flight.  It was way better than I thought it would be despite their being Chinese subtitles all throughout that I couldn’t get rid of.  Also got to see The Purge, which sucked, and all but the last ten damn minutes of the Lone Ranger.  Our plane was landing just as the movie was beginning to end, if only I’d watched it earlier but I did end up squeezing in like four hours of sleep too.  First thing I did when I got off the plane was to get me an authentic American cheeseburger.  Korea has cheeseburgers, and they were pretty good, but Korea doesn’t have the Garbage Burger which is something only we could come up with.  Two patties, three types of cheese, bacon, mushrooms, marinara sauce, guacamole, all between two toasted buns and served up with fried pickles on the side.  I think my stomach is still upset at me but it was worth every moment of digestive complaint.  I went through a whole stack of napkins and I the look on the ladies faces one table over was one of horror and admiration as I finished scarfing it down 5 mins after it was set in front of me.  I had one more plane to get to after that, and exhaustion and the “itis” made sure I didn’t remember taking off or landing.

This burger gives zero fucks! ‘Murica!

As for what I plan to do now that I’m here…well I don’t know yet.  School like I said is a huge priority but there are a couple obstacles in my way, the least of which being that I have to get all my transcripts together and start applying to schools.  I might need to get a job first so I can set myself a strong financial base before I go, last time I went to college I lost 30 lbs because I had no money to eat!  Thank god for Popcorn in the dorm lobby every afternoon or I’d probably be dead.  I’ll probably do something a lot more constructive this time around, no more Art School for me.  Game Art and Design was a cool program but it was kind of a dead end for me I think, I’m not as artistic as I pretend to be.  Portraits were my thing, redrawing something that already exists.  Taking whats in my head and putting on paper was tough, and I don’t know how well I would have done when it got to animation and 3D modeling.  Anyway, yeah that’s my Monday update, I’m gonna try and pick back up on a regular posting routine, hopefully that’ll fix up this bundle of anxiety and nervousness that sits in my stomach and makes me feel like I constantly have to fart.  Or maybe that’s still the Garbage Burger…

Thanks Hobbes!

Almost There

So maybe some of you have been wondering what this long hiatus has been about, or quite possibly wondering if I died, got bored or abducted by aliens or something. Well nothing quite as exciting as that, I finally finished transitioning out of the military, today being my official last day as a soldier.  For those of you who don’t know, the military loves it’s paperwork and making things as complicated as possible, so I haven’t had a lot of time what with turning in gear, my computer dying on me, and having to move out of my apartment in korea to make the 30+ hour trip home to Misery…I mean Missouri.   In all honesty I am looking forward to being home, but I’ll be located in the middle of nowhere, with just above dial-up speeds of connection out on my dad’s farm so I guess no more League for a while.  I’ll be blogging more now that I officially a certified unemployed civiliian just like the rest of you folks! Yay!  Got some great articles coming up, more stuff to talk about, get somexthings off my chest and post up chapters four and I’ve of my novel for those of you who are interested.  Almost home, stuck at a USO in Detroit waiting on my final flight, eating combos and contemplating which of the fine American eateries to sample tonight before my flight. Koreans can make burgers but they aren’t the same, and you absolutely cannot find good Mexican food to save your life. Maybe some tacos and a margarita to round out this long long endless day. Lol

An Inherent Evil

I really hate dishes, I believe I’ve remarked on that at least a dozen times so far and will continue doing so as long as there are plates and pans to be washed in my future.  I could easily get it done more efficiently if I just stopped letting them pile up.  Cook dinner, eat dinner, then do the dishes.  There’s only the two of us so it wouldn’t be so bad if I’d just knock it out at the end of the day.  What is it that makes me choose to make it harder for myself?  I’ve been thinking about that a lot in these past weeks.  If I’d chosen to save more money, I’d be in a better position for transition out of the military.  If I’d taken advantage of tuition assistance I’d have been able to at least knock out a few college classes.  I only need to work out an hour a day to be healthy, but instead I sit at home and watch tv and play video games.  Now I am aware most of this is just beating myself up and you can’t change the past, of course hindsight is 20/20 and things always look so simple looking back.  You have to learn to live with your mistakes, learn from them, and move on.  Its part of why I believe people are inherently well…evil.  I may be being pessimistic but I believe that everyone has a little darkness in them, that motivates them to do things that they know they shouldn’t.  Its not evil like say, murder and puppy-kicking, but its more like not doing your homework or neglecting your chores.  The inherent laziness that keeps us from being productive citizens of society.  That same laziness that tells us not to donate to a charity because its not like our one dollar matters right?  The same type of selfishness that keeps us from seeing someone is hurting inside until its too late and they’ve done something irreversible.  Its not REALLY evil, its just kind of evil.  I don’t know, maybe its just my current situation that is making me view things this way, but I do believe that most of us are at the very least, inherently selfish creatures that are only looking out for ourselves.  We have our reasons, we don’t want to get hurt, we don’t want to reach out and get rejected, we don’t see it as our problem, someone else will take care of it.  Its why car alarms are useless noisemakers, no one gets up in the night and goes to see if someone is really stealing a car, they just jam a pillow over their head or do some other such thing to block out the sound.  I’m not calling anyone out but myself here, I do it and I’m assuming everyone else does so I may be wrong.  I know that there have been times I could have reached out to help someone but didn’t because I felt that they weren’t important enough to me to reach out to.  I’ve felt the gnawing guilt when I make a decision that affects other people negatively but I do it anyway to make my situation better.  I’ve come to believe that no one can be happy without making someone else unhappy, that the universe balances out every positive with a negative and vice versa.  You get a new job but it comes with new responsibilities, owning a home comes with debt, children are a joy but are a real handful to take care.  Every positive step you make comes with another negative.  Life isn’t about getting ahead its about staying even because you can’t slip into the big pit of negativity, because sitting around all day worrying about it isn’t going to do anything but just drag you back and tip the scales in the favor of regress.  I grapple with the choices I’ve made and whether or not I’m doing what is right, and contemplating the meaning of right.  How can I do what is right when you don’t know who’s scale of right and wrong you’re looking at?  Is is society’s scale? is it your own personal one? Is it God’s scale?  In the end, I’m told, do what makes you happy and everything will be alright.  I find that to be both incredibly selfish but also incredibly true.  If you do what makes you happy then screw what everyone else thinks about what you’re doing.  I’ve never been one to do what makes me happy, always trying so hard to think of others and do what I felt was expected of me.  I’m the oldest of five kids and numerous grandchildren.  I’ve been looked up to and looked down on by various members of my family.  I’ve been working so hard to succeed and do well that I forget to do well by myself.  To embrace that inherent evil, the necessary evil, of loving ones self enough to tell the world to go to hell and do what I want to do.  It is selfishness by definition but not in spirit.  I need to do that more, I believe most of us do.  Although a little empathy could go a long way and I respect the hell out of people who go out of their way to overcome their own needs and wants.  I guess the only point I’m trying to make is some of us need more empathy and others need to cut back just a bit, I find myself to be more of the latter group.

Monday’s are terrible, I’m always in one of these cruddy moods.  Thanks for listening to my ramblings 🙂 Tomorrow something more upbeat should suffice, I really need to get myself out of this funk! lol

Technical Difficulties

Well I’m convinced now more than ever that when it rains it pours.  On top of all the other shenanigans I’ve been dealing with, just two days ago I sat down at my computer, an awesome little bit of hardware that I built with my own two hands, and began to write an entry about the movie Elysium.  I stopped after a paragraph, went to the bathroom, and came back only to find my desktop whirring weirdly and my monitor flashing a “signal not detected” warning.  After spending hours tinkering, troubleshooting, and laying down a few verses of binary Latin to expel the demons out, I unfortunately came to the conclusion that my video card had indeed fried and gone on to greener pastures.  I blame the korean outlets, they put out way too much juice and I frequently electrocute myself when I tinker sometimes…mostly for fun.  After cursing the Old gods and dramatically trying to revive my computer, I  called it the time of death and retired to my bedroom for an afternoon of sulking.  With everything going on I can’t really justify buying a new video card…I mean of course I could but the market here kind of sucks and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be at this address to order new parts online.  I’m writing this entry from my iPad. I do have a laptop but its kind of the entertain center for the living room, it plays Netflix and stuff but it has a broken keyboard and it’s kind of crappy…I’m picky about my hardware.  First world problems I guess, oh man my amazing high speed desktop is broken so I have to use my amazing high speed tablet instead, why me? Anyway…been kind of depressed lately, not just because of that of course, I’ve got bigger issues but thankfully I can still make an attempt at blogging and staying on top of things.  I’m taking things day by day. Thanks again for hanging in there, Gamers Gaiden has hit the one month anniversary! I’m super stoked to also welcome all my new subscribers, and to apologize for the lack of new content lol. I know I don’t need to apologize, but I feel better having done so.  Tomorrow will try to start back up on my normal schedule, see if I can’t put up with the inferior laptop or hopefully find some discount vid card I can make due with.  Take care readers and Stay Epic!

 

 

 

 

Liebster Award thingy

Thanks to my friend Joy at Joy In Jeans for nominating me, she’s awesome and you better click that link and read her stuff because if you don’t you and I are no longer friends.

Rules:

Step 1. Link back to the person who nominated you(see above)

Step 2. Nominate 10 others who have 200 or fewer followers.

1. Ugly Little Monsters

2. The Witching Hour

3. Gaming Top10s

4. Sans Deferens

5. Lucia Lorenzi

6. Midlife Crisis Crossover

7. Bibliophile

8. Not Human Beings

9. Comic Remixes

10. Flop!

Harder than it sounded, but I enjoyed doing it.  Theres so much out there on WordPress, some of it made me think, made me feel, and made me laugh.  Really awesome.

Step 3. Answer the 10 questions provided by the blog that nominated you.
1. Do you ever pass along chain mail?

Hardly ever, unless it involves some creepy ghost girl staring at me when I sleep then I’m tempted to send, I hate those.

2. Be honest, do you pee in the shower?

Not since I was ten

3. Have you ever won an award?

Not alone, won my regional and state One-Act play competitions with my theater troupe in high school.

4. If you could travel  to space which planet would you visit?

Uranus? 😛 nevermind too gassy(get it, gas giant) but seriously probably Jupiter to Io or Titan.  Its the biggest thing in our solar system, and must be awe-inspiring to be right next to.

5. How much weight can you squat?

Last time I squatted? I don’t remember, maybe 180 plus the bar? two 45s and I don’t know how much the bar weighs..

6. If you were a candy what kind of candy would you be?

Sour Patch Kids, sweet and sour and just generally awesome.

7. Insects or Dinosaurs?

Insects, I obsessed way more about bugs than I did dinos, the praying mantis being a personal favorite.

8. Museum or mosh pit?

Mosh pit, had some epic times in a mosh pit.

9. Lotion….?

Naw too slippery I’m a bare hands kind of guy…when I’m giving massages you perv.

10.On a scale of 1 to 10 how tired are you of answering annoying questions?

4.2

Step 4. Provide 10 questions for the bloggers you nominate

Okay here goes:

1. What motivates you?

2. Why did you start a blog?

3. What are you afraid of?

4. Vampires or Werewolves?

5. Whats your happy place?

6. What do you feel has been your greatest accomplishment?

7. Do you like sweet pickles?

8. If you could have any super power, what would it be?

9. Favorite character in a work of fiction(video game, book, movie, tv show)?

10.Deep Question: If you could right now, just know what it was you were meant to do with your life, know exactly who you were to marry, if you were to marry, and what you would end up doing and where you’d end up living, maybe even lets say when you’d die within a ten year span(not specific enough to know exactly when but just a round about estimate, like in your 80’s), would you want to know or would you like to experience it first hand?

Step 5. Let your nominee’s know of their award